After the band split, me and another mate of mine were stuck in the middle. We got backlash from an opposing side whenever we chilled with the other set of mates. I shouldn’t of listened to the jealousy. Unfortunately, even though I was still cool with both sides, no matter how many times we tried, it was unfixable, and inevitable that sides were chosen.
This was a depressing time, but luckily, both sides still carried on with music. But I felt a competitive rivalry had formed. No doubt disses were thrown behind the scenes. I tried to keep peace, tried to squash, but pettiness got in the way. Started to cloud my judgement. Clouded my thoughts. Hypnotised by those dark thoughts. I called the remaining two friends my DAY ONES.
Though it made my passion for music ignite, it was in a way I wish it didn’t, if that makes sense. I was learning more songs, experimenting with different styles, yet my rap was being neglected. So I took it into my own hands and started recording and making beats on my own. I could finally fulfil my wish and dreams of being a rapper and producer. But there was one hurdle for me to overcome…. social anxiety. This time HAS to be different….
So I used my initiative again, and booked myself keyboard lessons to top up on my abilities and to learn music theory. I am not afraid to admit, it’s so stressful trying to learn a section of sheet music on a weekly basis. If I did not put in the effort…. somehow my teacher knew. And got punished to read a chapter of music theory as well as learning that section of music. I was FORCED to overcome my social anxiety through these activities, but most importantly, my job which was working within Health & Social Care. Anxiety ran my life for SO LONG. FINALLY I CAN DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!!
FoaFoa 